The following articles was written by a woman of real distinction in our midst....and she says:
The scourge of rape and violence against women we are faced with as a society is a very sad reality to say the least. It is an issue that not only affects the victim or their immediate family but affects every one of us, regardless of our walk in life or social standing. I wish to put forward that the church, in its role as a traditional place of refuge for those who are in distress or hurting, is one of the institutions that are most affected.
The scourge of rape and violence against women we are faced with as a society is a very sad reality to say the least. It is an issue that not only affects the victim or their immediate family but affects every one of us, regardless of our walk in life or social standing. I wish to put forward that the church, in its role as a traditional place of refuge for those who are in distress or hurting, is one of the institutions that are most affected.
I have learned from personal experience that at least one in every four women in the local church has been sexually or emotionally violated at some point in their life. These ladies, young girls and sisters live among us; they worship with us; they are in our home cell-groups and are members of our departments. Perhaps you sit next to one in the church pew every Sunday morning. These dear ones are each at different stages of healing from the emotional pain associated with such incidents. My question is; have we as sisters and mothers been sensitive enough to their pain? Are we able to recognise the signs associated with their emotional pain, its traits and the way it expresses itself? Have we modelled and expressed unconditional love even in the face of behaviour that was unnecessary and hurtful?
The problem with emotional pain is that it expresses or reveals itself in behaviour. It is unlike physical injury that can be seen but it lurks deep within and articulates itself through certain mannerism and character. Such behaviour if not understood may end up hurting and putting off the very people a woman who has been violated needs; because they are expressing themselves from a position of hurt. In her emotionally wounded state, this sister may have tendencies of being irrationally self-protective or even unintentionally push others away. It is a defence mechanism that develops as a result of their trauma.
Am I advocating tolerance to ungodly behaviour or saying that ladies who have encountered emotional trauma should not be held spiritually accountable? No, that is not the intention at all. What I am saying though is that we must be “our sister’s keeper.” Let us be conscious and aware of the signs and behaviour associated with emotional pain. Let us be sensitive to the Spirit’s leading on how to respond in the face of such behaviour. Be the sister who will not be quick to take offence and judge but rather practise God’s unconditional love. Create an environment where those who are in distress are able to find purpose, hope and a reason to carry on. Do not only create the environment, be that environment. Remember, church is not a place; it is a people who have been called out by God for a task. Lady, that simply means you are the church.
Sister woman, make a choice today to be the inspiration for your broken sister to be transformed. Re-affirm this sister, she needs it. Remind her that God has loved her unconditionally. Tell her that God’s purposes include her, it will minister healing and life to her deep seated wound. This is your vocation and your call as the church of Christ. I borrow from Bishop Desmond Tutu who said “We are good because we are loved; we are not loved because we are good.” What a powerful statement.
So sister, lady friend, Woman of Real Distinction, be relevant to your community. Your community needs you to be relevant to your hurting sister who has been violated in the deepest form. Yes, she worships with you; she is in your home cell-group and she is a member of your department. She needs you to help her rise from being a victim to being a victor. Will you walk the journey with her in love?
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"Remember, church is not a place; it is a people who have been called out by God for a task." ... Let Love Reign in you and through you! Wow!
I love the article above because I resonate with everything in it. I am one of those that has gone through sexual abuse by family members, those I called my brothers whom I expected to protect me but they instead looked at me as an object of their pleasure.
I had to deal with the pain my self, afraid to tell the family what was happening, the weight of this was immense on me as a teenage girl and only when I realised that the effects of those expereinces were affecting the manner in which I related to men, I knew I had a monster in me and I had to face it. To this day I am not sure if I have fully dealt with it becasue just when I think I have I realise that it often rears it ugly head in my personal matters and I realise that they is still some puss left in the wound and I pray to God to carry me through it each day.
I often ask myself what I will do the day I meet my bothers - becasue you see with me I was saved by physically moving away from the place were all this used to happen. As a christian will I look at them with love, willl I able to display God's healing power enough for them to see God in me...will I... this is a million dollar question in my life..
Rape and abuse of women are a sign that women are not yet free in this country..rape is not necessarily about sex but about power. As individuals and as a church our role is to fight this ill that is destroying our women..women who are abused/raped tend to be inferior, they tend to blame themselves as if they deserved it..in the process, their destinies are destroyed. We have a vision to provoke destinies, thank you for this article. I believe there is something we can do,together we can do more.