Authored by Women of Real Distinction
The following articles was written by a woman of real distinction in our midst....and she says:
The scourge of rape and violence against women we are faced with as a society is a very sad reality to say the least. It is an issue that not only affects the victim or their immediate family but affects every one of us, regardless of our walk in life or social standing. I wish to put forward that the church, in its role as a traditional place of refuge for those who are in distress or hurting, is one of the institutions that are most affected.
I have learned from personal experience that at least one in every four women in the local church has been sexually or emotionally violated at some point in their life. These ladies, young girls and sisters live among us; they worship with us; they are in our home cell-groups and are members of our departments. Perhaps you sit next to one in the church pew every Sunday morning. These dear ones are each at different stages of healing from the emotional pain associated with such incidents. My question is; have we as sisters and mothers been sensitive enough to their pain? Are we able to recognise the signs associated with their emotional pain, its traits and the way it expresses itself? Have we modelled and expressed unconditional love even in the face of behaviour that was unnecessary and hurtful?
The problem with emotional pain is that it expresses or reveals itself in behaviour. It is unlike physical injury that can be seen but it lurks deep within and articulates itself through certain mannerism and character. Such behaviour if not understood may end up hurting and putting off the very people a woman who has been violated needs; because they are expressing themselves from a position of hurt. In her emotionally wounded state, this sister may have tendencies of being irrationally self-protective or even unintentionally push others away. It is a defence mechanism that develops as a result of their trauma.
Am I advocating tolerance to ungodly behaviour or saying that ladies who have encountered emotional trauma should not be held spiritually accountable? No, that is not the intention at all. What I am saying though is that we must be “our sister’s keeper.” Let us be conscious and aware of the signs and behaviour associated with emotional pain. Let us be sensitive to the Spirit’s leading on how to respond in the face of such behaviour. Be the sister who will not be quick to take offence and judge but rather practise God’s unconditional love. Create an environment where those who are in distress are able to find purpose, hope and a reason to carry on. Do not only create the environment, be that environment. Remember, church is not a place; it is a people who have been called out by God for a task. Lady, that simply means you are the church.
Sister woman, make a choice today to be the inspiration for your broken sister to be transformed. Re-affirm this sister, she needs it. Remind her that God has loved her unconditionally. Tell her that God’s purposes include her, it will minister healing and life to her deep seated wound. This is your vocation and your call as the church of Christ. I borrow from Bishop Desmond Tutu who said “We are good because we are loved; we are not loved because we are good.” What a powerful statement.
So sister, lady friend, Woman of Real Distinction, be relevant to your community. Your community needs you to be relevant to your hurting sister who has been violated in the deepest form. Yes, she worships with you; she is in your home cell-group and she is a member of your department. She needs you to help her rise from being a victim to being a victor. Will you walk the journey with her in love?
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Authored by Women of Real Distinction
Am so saddened by the reports and news of rape that has
taken over our media platforms. This is totally a spiritual warfare remember
life is more spiritual than it is physical. Am calling all the wailing women to
get on their knees, and war against this demonic plaque. I am also calling all
women of distinction to take precautions more than ever before, this are not the
days we blindly left our kids with crazy uncles n cousins, its a bad thing to
imagine that we can’t even rely on our own family members, but this are evil
days as the world continues to descend in moral decay, we just have to be
cautious. Even in our choice of a house help we have to be totally discerning.
Let’s educate our little boys and girls the reality of cruelty though not in
details but let’s teach them boundaries and warning signs. Then another
suggestion I would like to share, to be conscious of our kids when conversing
on the phone on negative news. Let us shield our kids from hearing this
conversations, switch off some of the news station that keeps reporting
negative news, ‘imagine a little girl hearing every day on her way to school
4women will be raped in 16mins. Its devastates them then we have to start
explaining what is rape to tiny minds let’s try protect their innocence, we can
teach them the right skill without bombarding their minds with a view of a
horrific world, lets show them the world where God rules and in he is control
at the end of the day , the earth is the Lord and the fullness there off.
Ev J
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Authored by Women of Real Distinction
Honorable Act
You
will all agree with me that as long as we are living in this fallen world which
still suffers from the impact of sin, we will every so often need to forgive or
to be forgiven. That is because in life
under the sun offence must come. Personally I can’t remember how many times I
had to forgive and was in need of forgiveness.
I have learnt that forgiveness can be either instantaneous or gradual
depending on the magnitude of the offence.
The hardest pill to swallow as a Christian is that you have to forgive (who
said Christianity was easy, living for God is the hardest job on earth!!!! (But
the most honourable). But the words of
Jesus are still living through the ages and they are simple you can’t misspell
them “forgive as your father has forgiven you” super oooouuch! Isn’t? . Forgiveness is like a journey, a journey
begins with an intention, you plan to get somewhere. No one boards a bus and
have way the trip starts wondering, where am I headed, (unless the wires upstairs
are incorrect or loose, for such help should be provided). So we embark on a
journey after we have decided on our destination, which in this case is
emotional freedom and healing. Deciding
to start this journey may not be as hard as the ability to stay focused, follow
through, to refuse distraction and actually get there. I have had to take this journey in the time
past and half way the trip the fresh memories of the offence would wash away
with great intensity all the strength I had gathered. A times the offender may
belittle your agony, sometimes they may repeat it again, they may come across
as non-remorseful, this can easily distract you from your goal or even weaken
you , you might actually decide to cut short the journey and justify the right to remain in offence.
It is at this point that you remind yourself this truth “it takes the will to
obey God not the emotions”. In the scriptures we see many times when David had
to address his will, e.g.” I will praise the Lord” he will pour out his overwhelming
negative emotions and lament on why God
can’t just ‘break somebody’s neck’ but then he would make a choice to overcome
those emotions and remain focused. I have trained myself to be honest with God and
speak to him about the difficulties I encounter as I try to obey him. This is
not your usual prayers it’s an honest chat with my dad….. . This conversation
with God leaves me very energized. It is in this kind of chats that God reminds
me that he had justifiable reasons not to forgive us without violating his
justice, but he had to sacrifice in order to forgive. It has to cost somebody
something for forgiveness to take place.
God accepted to give away his son because he was motivated by love. We can be motivated by our love for God, when
faced with the need to forgive, we can always choose between obeying God and
nursing our feelings and our rights, it not easy I know, but I said earlier
living for God is not easy. Honest
prayers for extra grace will see you through this most honourable act of
forgiving. I would like to hear from you
how you cope with forgiveness, the challenges you face and how you follow through.
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